the house of flu

First it was Tim that came home with the flu. Now that he is feeling better, it's Jonah's turn. Yesterday poor Jonah came down with a fever.

I really hope I am able to ward off the monster since the birth of our new baby is imminent. And I definitely pray baby doesn't get the bug.

The good news is that Jonah has had half the colds this winter compared to the last. I feel encouraged by that.

Last year when we were in Prague for Christmas, Jonah had a similar bug - fever, no appetite and vomiting. It came and went fast, which I hope is the case this time too.

logo master

Ever since Jonah was about 20-months-old, I have been seeing evidence of how, from a young age, human brains are wired to recognize and read symbols. First it was the post office logo , then UPS, and now Shell.

We were looking at a magazine. One ad in the magazine took up a whole page and had a rather tasteful collage-like picture of cars and a farm which I thought would interest Jonah. Instead, he noticed the familiar red and yellow Shell gas symbol, saying: "gas station."

I can see how and why brand-marketing to kids is such a hot pursuit, not to mention a very dangerous and unethical one too.

the due date is here

Today is the due date and the baby is still not budging. What is the deal? Hey, someone tell it the world is not such a scary place. I tried to no avail.

I tell you this baby is nearly three weeks older than Jonah when he was born. It better not be a ten-pounder with a giant head and nails so long they curl and droop Yogi-style at the fingertips.

I may have to resort to some old wives' tale-style recipes for bringing about labor. Your tips in that department are welcome.

crack up

Jonah started referring to himself as "commander" today. I don't know where he learned that word, but it's quite fitting. So, he says things like: "Commander climbed up (to his chair)." or "Commander opened the door." He told me I could not be commander, that only a man could be. Well, he said this this way: "Mommy's not commander. Man is commander." Hmmm... I have been calling him Mr. Director when he gets really bossy, but Commander just captures this stage so much better.

39 weeks

I'm 39 weeks along, which means only a week till my due date, and still waiting for the baby to make its appearance. I will keep you posted.

craziest pregnancy dreams yet

Last night tops all the wild dream nights so far this pregnancy. A kitten appeared in our house that looked like a miniature version of our female cat Sarafina. They frolicked and slept together, but Tim looked under its skin like one would look under someone's glove and said the kitten was sick; that it had problems with its veins.

Warning: not for the faint-of-heart - I ended up tasting the kitten without the kitten even registering it. It just went about its kitten business as I chewed on its gamy meat. I would not recommend tasting kittens to you, even if you are dreaming.

In my dream last night I also danced with an ape. The dance resembled what I imagine the multi-armed Hindu goddess Durga would look like dancing. But the ape was dressed like a traditional Thai dancer with a pointy headdress.

What does this all mean? And what about this friendly ape that danced with me? What was it supposed to signify? The input of any dream interpreters out there would be greatly appreciated.

11 days till the due date!

My belly is stretched to the max. New scars seem to appear every few minutes. They burn and itch alternately. The baby seems cozy in its protected little world. We might have to wait a couple more weeks for its appearance. My guess was that the baby would be born on January 8th, Tim's on the 15th. Only he can now be right.

word games

Jonah loves to have fun with words. He soaks them up like a sponge and remembers ones he surprises with for weeks. He is now able to participate in the famous fill-in-the-blank game of MadLibs as well. Here is one we did today. The underlined words are the fill in the blank ones. See if you can guess which words he contributed. I will list those at the end.

Police Call

Calling all cars...Calling all cars!
Be on the lookout for Jonah. He is wearing a grody suit, a gray UPS truck, and is carrying an old brown fart. He was last seen in the vicinity of a bathroom, waving a loaded daddy. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner's mommy. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 alligator and a stupid tiger. It is advisable to approad this person with snotty caution, as he has been known to carry a loaded pickle knife. He uses the alias "Billy the Hamburger" and has been known to disguise himself as a monster jeep. Watch out for this stinky criminal. That is all.

Jonah can't quite understand this story yet, but he enjoys having it read to him and having the words he contributed pointed out.

Which words do you think are his?

If you listed these, you are correct: Jonah, UPS truck, daddy, mommy, alligator, tiger, monster jeep.

new project

Inspired by my friend Karin, I decided to start a blog that will give me a chance to devote some time to creative writing. Hey, now that I'm on maternity leave, I've got to invent some kind of non-parenting related work for myself.

The idea is to write a short little piece each day for one year about a different person that I have known. Writing every day is quite a big commitment, especially with a new baby coming soon, but why not give it a try. These short pieces don't have to take much time.

Most people who have a 365-type blog (yes, lots of people do) have an exact word count for all their posts. For example, each composition must be no less or no more than 35 words. I will just try to keep my posts short. Counting my words and trying to edit my writing down to the same number of words each time feels too rigid. I like the idea of writing something creative every day and of reaching into the crevices of my brain for memories that may otherwise never resurface.

Here is the link to my 365 experiment. Let's see how long I can keep it up.

patience... what a virtue

These days when Jonah and I have a good day with tantrums kept to a minimum, I feel relieved and elated in the evenings. It truly feels like a miracle. But on the days teeming with emotional upheaval and toddler violence, I sometimes have a hard time liking the fellow. Not loving him, just liking him.

Today was one of those days. A tantrum about every little thing, violence towards the cats, and even me. All day the words of my friend Jenn, mother of two toddlers, have resounded in my head: "I've been there." That helps ease the pain a bit though it's hard not to feel completely at a loss and disheartened.

Hopefully Jonah will learn to cope with boundaries and his emotions in a gentler way soon. I'm trying to teach him in a trial and error sort of way, as best as I can with images of Supernanny, the cop, floating around my brain as I attempt various disciplining and distraction techniques. I too must remember to breathe and be patient.

Dick Cheney snuck into my dreams!

Last night I dreamt I was in labor in Dick Cheney's van. He drove it and let me use his cell phone. He was going to let me stay in his apartment for a while since I was away from home, but it was a fifth floor walk-up. There was a snow blizzard outside. I never saw Dick from the front; always from behind. Surprisingly he wasn't an asshole to me. That still doesn't change my opinion of him. Just one request - Dick, how about you get out of my dreams!

2008 with a bang

The New Year started with a bang for Mr. Jonah & me. But first, let me share how we celebrated the Eve. We went to our friend Karin's party early and stayed just past Jonah's bed time. Though it was mostly adults -except for Jonah and a two-month-old baby girl- our son was entertained. As usual, he basked in the presence of adults having a good time, chatting away and eating tasty hors d'oeuvres. I included a picture of us at the party on New Year's Eve.

Our New Year's day was a little rough with Jonah being extremely moody and dictatorial, playing if-one-parent-is-hard, let's-try-the-other-one nearly all day. But we did have a good portion of the day, playing outside and getting together with a friend of mine, Kyle, that Jonah likes in an uncle sort of way. Kyle is a high school teacher and a football & basketball coach. He always gives Jonah sports paraphernalia. In fact, he is the only friend who does. Someone has got to fulfill that niche, I guess. Jonah likes Kyle so much that I cease to exist when the two of them interact. Too bad Kyle is so busy, because I would love to take advantage of his Mary Poppins magic and evaporate while the two of them do their manly thing for a couple of hours sometime.

On the 2nd of January my friend Megan came over with her son, Jonah's friend Finn. The two of them are nine months apart in age, with Finn being the older one, but their age difference has never seemed so small before. The two boys played like never before, sharing toys, running around, tackling and hugging each other alternately, snacking together -feeding each other, actually- and imitating each other's made up words. This was such an incredible experience for me. Megan and I could actually talk uninterrupted for quite a while. Before that, the two boys mostly fought over toys and got stressed out around each other. And before that, they barely interacted. Parallel play, they call it at that age, I guess. I had never seen Jonah play with another kid like he did that way. That made me so happy! He is getting older, I suppose.

37 weeks!

Yay! I made it to 37 weeks! (This is a picture of me taken today, by the way). The baby is now considered full-term and I am relieved. Now we expect the birth could happen any day. What a life change we are about to experience. No matter how hard I try to imagine life with two little ones, I can't quite picture it. Soon, though, it will become a reality. I hope it will not be as hard as many people make it sound.

Happy New Year!

I am meat

The other day Jonah laid down on the coffee table and said: "I am meat. Eat me, mommy."

I asked him who cooked him. He replied: "Uncle Andy."

"How did he cook you?" I wondered. "In a pot on top of the stove, in the microwave, in the oven or in the toaster?"

"In the oven, pancake-style." Jonah said and stuck his hand in front of my face: "Eat the bone; the crunchy part, mommy."

Christmas on the coast

We just returned from spending three days at the Oregon coast. We were about the only people, other than about two retired couples with miniature lap dogs, that spent our Christmas there in the rain and wind. Actually, one day it hardly rained, but the ocean was so wild we almost got swept away trying to walk on the very edge of the beach.

The hotel was nice. It's been our favorite. We brought a giant load of groceries, so we didn't have to go to the store at all and could cook all our meals. I made Czech-style potato salad and fish for Christmas dinner. We also brought homemade Christmas cookies, bread, and a little potted tree to decorate and put right on the mantel place.

Jonah got the idea of presents for the first time. He kept talking about Santa, whom he discovered in one of his books recently.

We had a really nice time, though I had a pretty bad cold and the weather didn't cooperate half the time. But that was just half the time. So really we were lucky.

Jonah's favorite present was a miniature version of a UPS truck from his grandparents. He didn't want to part with it, so he asked if he could bring it to bed with him and tuck it in. He has also been enjoying the puzzles and legos I got him. Of course, there is the high tech electronic digger from grandpa which we opened after we got back. I am glad we did because it trumps all that ever was before. This piece of heavy equipment more than half the size of Jonah is complete with a country rock anthem to which Jonah loves to jump around, flailing his arms; lights; thunder volume engine sounds; and a macho man voice dolling out commands such as: "Back it up!" and "Scoop those rocks!" That one is definitely guaranteed to delight parents everywhere.

I got great gifts too - a restaurant gift certificate, an Ikea gift certificate and a new camera are up there in the top three. Warm socks and a new lip stick and mascara - yeah!

All in all we had a nice holiday. Now the countdown to new baby has started. That, along with the cold, has been keeping me up at night. How will we handle a feisty two-year-old and a newborn and get enough sleep on top of it all to survive the first few months? I don't know. I just pray we do.

here is what I look like

Here is me now (nearly 35 weeks along):



Here I am at the same point in my pregnancy with Jonah almost 2.5 years ago:



The last pregnancy we took so many pictures. Nearly one every week. This time I think we have maybe two showcasing my belly. I can just hear the second child: "Why is it you took so many picture with Jonah in your belly, but not with me!" Well, because second time, my child, it's all just old hat... ha, ha!

spooky is fun... sort of

Ever since Halloween Jonah has been interested in all things spooky. We read an average of at least one scary story a day - toddler scary. Like the Old Dark Frog.

Now after it gets dark if we don't close our curtains Jonah becomes obsessed with the reflections he sees in the windows. He will see something move, most often his own face or mine, and get concerned that Spooky is outside looking in. He seems enthralled yet perturbed by the idea.

Sometimes he hears things and asks me: "Who is knocking?" Today I could actually trace the sound to me setting my coffee cup on the table, but sometimes I don't know what it is he's heard.

The other day he looked in my closet and exclaimed: "I see a hand! What's that arm doing there?" That sent the shivers up my spine. I picked him up and had him show me where he saw that hand and arm. He pointed to a tube, which was actually a folded blanket the color of white person's flesh. Phew! I felt relieved. Just a blanket.

baby in belly

Tonight Jonah came to hug my belly. He said: "There's a baby in mommy's belly. It will come out later... and live in mommy's house."

He totally gets it. It's really amazing.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, his emotions could be escalating because he knows a big change is about to take place. But of course, like his grandma says, it is mostly "the terrible twos," though I like "tumultuous twos" better since, though difficult, this age is also so much fun.

I am, by the way, just over 34 weeks along in my pregnancy. I feel much more relieved now. The baby is still considered premature if born at this stage, but so close to fully developed that it is pretty safe to give birth now. I just hope I can make it twelve more days so I can have the home birth I envision.

tumultuous two

Our little friend is two for sure. Lately he has been asserting his will power fiercely regarding just about anything. There could be a tantrum lurking under the surface, waiting to unleash itself just about any time. And not just once, but sometimes three or five times a day.

Today, for example, Jonah did not want to get out of his pyjamas. That turned into an angry crying spell that lasted what seemed like a half hour.

Or little Mister may decide he wants to pretend to drive our family car and if he doesn't get his way, he becomes unconsolable. Other favorite things to scream and kick about have included: not wanting to get into his car seat; not wanting to have his diaper changed (though most of the day he now goes diaperless); not wanting to get dressed; and not wanting his play to be interrupted for a meal. He has been so full of strong emotions lately that at the end of the day sometimes, Tim and I are relieved when Jonah is asleep.

If kicking or hitting is involved, we give Jonah a warning and then put him on the "naughty pillow," which works a lot of the time as a good distraction and consequence. But when he decides to get up from it every five seconds and I have to carry him back over and over, his two alloted minutes of "naughty pillow time" seem to last a lifetime. With my big belly, lifting him up and carrying him with both of our emotions running high (I do try hard to stay calm, believe me), it's really not much fun.

When whining is the tone he uses, which happens a lot these days, I ask him to speak in a normal voice and to say please. This doesn't always get him what he wants, but it teaches him a little bit of self-control and politeness. He does usually respond to my request to use a normal voice. At times, though, I have a hard time reminding myself to request him to stop whining because my natural instinct, though not the right thing to do, is to do whatever I can quickly to stop that god-awful sound that makes me want to jump out of my skin. I have been trying to be diligent about getting him out of the whining habit.

If crying, screaming, and non-cooperation are the problem, we either let him cry without reasoning with him after once or twice explaining our position, or sometimes a little bargain will work.

For example, if Jonah doesn't want his dirty diaper changed, I tell him I will count to five and that he has the choice to walk over to his bed and lay down for me or I will carry him there. If he's able to hear me, he usually decides to walk over himself rather than have me carry him. At least, that way he feels a little more autonomous and he feels like he has a choice.

No wonder Freud called this stage the anal stage. Jonah, like most two-year-olds, from what I have read, is so bent on doing things his way and having a say - in short, flexing his autonomy muscles, that it does create quite a tumultuous atmosphere in our household these days.

I know this is part of being two, an age which I have otherwise been thoroughly enjoying, but I have also read that this could be part of the last few weeks before a new baby joins the family. Jonah senses the change. We talk about it and it could be making him anxious.

Well, for now, we will just try our damnedest to ride out the storm in the most compassionate, yet responsible way. Parenting really is an art.