my job, my dreams

Perhaps you're wondering how my new job is going. Well, funny you should ask. I've been there less than two months and I'm already bored. So far, I only have one student in my class. He's a good guy - he is polite, serious about education, and a fast learner, but it's a little awkward to spend so much time with just one student. He comes to class four to five times a week after working all day and stays for our three-hour sessions. That's almost more time than I spend with my husband on weekdays! So, at this point I'm sort of a glorified tutor.

My student mostly needs conversation practice, so we spend a lot of time discussing various topics that I suggest or that we stumble on naturally. Since he understands much more English than he can formulate into sentences, we sometimes clarify certain points or vocabulary in Spanish. Practicing Spanish is a definite perk for me. The other good thing is that I can structure my own curriculum, but don't have to if I don't want to since we have sequenced textbooks from which I can draw materials.

So far, I haven't needed much preparation time, but for some incomprehensible reason I was told to be at work two hours prior to the beginning of class. So, that leaves me with a lot of time to do non-work stuff. I use the time to catch up on my correspondence and various other odds and ends. The fact that I get this time is a real luxury for any mom of a little one. So, I can't complain there. In fact, I am finding myself becoming a bit like what Jerry Seinfeld once described in one of his routines- a person who is obsessed with protecting her time for doing nothing. So much so, that if a phone call or another teacher comes into the room, I get mad: "Come on folks, this is my quiet time. Go away!"

But the ambitious side of me is not only bored, but embarassed by the fact that I often do nothing while I should be working. My lazy side is satisfied and growing big, feasting on nothing. So big and powerful that it's squeezing out the ambitious side. My ambitious side is not dead yet, only dormant and getting restless. That side wants me to have bigger impact in the world than what my current job offers. And I know I can handle more than helping one student. So I keep dreaming and scheming about what I want to do next. I have some ideas. Now my son is small, so maybe it's good to be working a job that's not too demanding. The schedule works for Tim and me for now and I get health insurance with my job, which is a luxury as well these days. So there are trade-offs. But I will soon be ready to move on to bigger and better things. I feel the itch already.

But speaking of dreaming, my student told me a whole bunch of stories about things that he has seen and experienced that scared the be-Jesus out of me last night. These were very much like ghost stories. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep last night. But after a little wine and dessert I surprised myself. No problem falling asleep and no nightmares! Two nights ago I did have a nightmare, though. I was in San Francisco when I realized I was completely lost. I did not remember any names of hotels or streets where I was staying. No phone numbers either. Yikes! And not only that. On top of being completely and hopelessly lost, I also noticed that the water surrounding San Francisco began to rise and consume the city, street by street. Oh my goodness! What a terrifying dream. Well, I hope for no more scary dreams for a while.