... and the moment I'm sure you've been waiting for

The alarm rang at 7 am. We ate, got dressed and ready for "school" today. Jonah was game until he realized we were going to take the subway, not the tram. That was the trigger -- mysterious as any of them tend to be. A tantrum ensued which propelled us at rocket speed down the stairs and escalators, onto the crowded rush-hour train (where I successfully kept his flailing body from injuring others and my eyes from meeting other eyes) and up the escalator to the square near Jonah's school. Still, once above ground, he was wailing and flailing.

Finally, when he paused for breath, sweaty, yet trying to keep my composure I asked if he was scared. He said that he was. I asked him if he would feel better if I stayed with him at preschool for a while. He stopped screaming hysterically and said in his angelic voice that he would feel better. He even began to get excited about his first day at school, for which we have been trying to prepare him for months. Perhaps the build-up was just too much to handle.

Once at school, he kept the corner of his eye on me while staying busy driving the various trucks and construction equipment from the school's "private stash" and observing the other little people. I tagged along like a third wheel all the way through the morning snack, practicing the Zen of transforming myself from the annoyingly-uptight-and-nervous mom to one who's so cool and aloof that she's invisible.

After snack I told Jonah I would be going to the store and coming back. Apparently he did fine for the 45 minutes I was gone, but when the kids were getting ready to go outside, the teacher couldn't find Jonah's shoes and forced him into someone else's sandals, which angered him to the point of tears.

It is important to note that this is his very first experience with an institution (though he did spend about 20 minutes in a supermarket daycare once, but Daddy had to be paged because little Mr. was on the verge of a panic attack). Also, his pre-school is basically a language immersion experience for him. No easy task for anyone, especially for a person who has experienced so many changes lately. Yes, children adjust quickly, but they do have fears and anxieties -- perhaps more pronounced ones than adults -- because their understanding of relationships is limited. Nevertheless, I decided to give him another practice round and left for yet one more hour, following the advice of the school's director.

The second time around Jonah did worse. He cried, looking for me for the whole time that I was gone. I surprised him so when I returned that he yelled at me to go away. Soon he calmed down and we talked about how the day went.

In the end he liked pre-school. He just got scared when I left. He vowed to not cry the next time, though I did tell him that it's ok to cry when he's sad or scared. We talked about how kids usually cry the first day or two at pre-school. And he was in good spirits after just a few minutes.

He is going back for one more practice day on Thursday before pre-school starts for real next Monday. Keep your fingers crossed for us for an easy transition and no more tantrums on the subway.