I see something

"I see something," a co-worker said to me today, pointing at my belly, a knowing smile on his face.

"Yeah, you see a fat belly," I replied. "And no, it's not another baby."

He started peddling backwards, trying to save the day: "Uh, that's not what I meant. In my culture it's a compliment to tell a woman she is big... Well, you were pregnant before and now there is nothing. I mean, in Africa, if a woman wants to get married, she has to be fat. Sometimes if she is too thin, they will lock her up somewhere and feed her. Or if her legs are too thin, they will beat them or something, so they look bigger. It's the opposite here."

Obviously he meant to tell me that he thought I was pregnant. There was no denying it, no matter how much he tried to cover up his faux pas. As if that weren't enough to make me clench my fists under my desk. He was already the second person today to ask me whether I was pregnant, for goodness sakes! "You don't say that to women," I told him. He knew he had made a mistake, at least I hope he learned from it.

The other socially inept co-worker today was a woman. She didn't beat around the bush. "Are you expecting another one?" she asked me by the copy machine. "Ah, just a little fat," she nodded, patting her belly but looking at mine.

"I did start going to the gym two weeks ago," I told her. It must have been the clothes I was wearing today that emphasized my gut, turning it into a conversation piece.

My student's reaction was sweet. "That's natural." (Meaning having a little bit of a pooch after a pregnancy). "This is not natural," and he pointed at his pot belly. That gave the rest of us ladies a good laugh.

Yes, I am the heaviest I've ever been, but come on people, manners!!!