my daily stop at the pump

As a dedicated mom, I've put in my fair share of hours at the pump. Breast pump that is. I express milk at work, so my baby can get his nutrients while I'm away. Because a friend and coworker of mine complained at work that there wasn't a proper space available for breastfeeding moms, our workplace decided to designate a multipurpose room with a lock on it as the official breastfeeding/pumping room. Of course, it's used for a whole host of other things, and because there are many impracticalities about the logistics of this space, I have found my own alternatives.

Today I had to use this room. As if having to hunt down the appropriate person with the right key and signing in to use it (I expected to have to fill in my reason for using the room as well) wasn't enough of a nuisance, when I was opening the door to the room, my boss, who was passing by, asked me what it was that our program was storing in that room. In other words, what is it that I was going to do in the room. I just smiled and kept going about my business.

When I walked in, I noticed that the video camera that lives in that room and points right where a breastpumping woman would sit to express milk, was plugged in and filming. Fortunately this was immediately clear since the picture was broadcast on the adjoining oversized TV screen. Great. I talked at the camera for a few seconds, then attempted to turn it off. I hope I know how to turn this puppy off. And I hope that I actually do turn off the video camera and not just the tv, I thought. Well, on top of all the equipment issues, I had a difficult time telling whether the door was locked or unlocked from the outside. Of course, when I was done, I noticed that the whole time the door was unlocked and anyone could have walked in on me.

The saving grace of this whole experience was a children's book I found in the room, displayed on one of the tables. It was called Where's Weenie?. I was sure it was an educational book in the vein of Everybody Poops. But to my surprise, the book had nothing to do with what most people understand your typical weenie to be. Sure there was a wiener dog hiding somewhere under some flap, but because I don't even have what it takes to read a board book appropriate for two year olds, I was thoroughly confused about the purpose and the message in the book. Once a coworker showed me how to open the flaps and read the text underneath them, the book made more sense. But even with the flaps, the book is quite ridiculous. Decide for yourself. Here are a few excerpts:

Rise and shine, Weenie. Time to get up!

Come on out, Weenie. You're going to miss the parade.

Aha! There you are Weenie!

That's not Weenie!

Hi, Henry. Hi, Daisy. Is that Weenie hiding under your blanket?

Ohmigosh! I hope Weenie doesn't miss the parade.