brand new woman

Some big changes have happened in the last two days: I had my immigration interview, civics and English test, which I passed (yay!), and finally my swear-in ceremony. After living in this country for twenty years, I am now a US citizen. The civics test consisted of about eight questions of this nature: "What do the stars on the flag stand for?", "Who is the Vice President?" (I did enjoying enunciating "Dick" with a gusto) and "What is the capitol of the U.S.?"

The English test went something like this:

Please copy the following sentence: "It is very smart of us to learn this." Hmmm... a slightly awkward sentence if you ask me. Then I had to write down the sentence the officer dictated, which went something like this: "My brother said they would visit her." Phew!

The day after my interview and tests was my swearing-in day. We were running a few minutes behind, and when I came in to the building, the guards in charge of the metal detector already knew who I was and told me: "They are waiting for you." How embarassing, I thought. Little did I know then that when I would make my way upstairs, there would be about fifty people gathered waiting for the ceremony, all eyes on me. I had forgotten to fill out the last of the forms and had to do it right there in front of everyone. Of course, in the hurry that I was in, I didn't read the instructions right and checked that since the previous day when my interview happened, I had gotten married and left the country. The judge remarked about it and all the fifty people in the room laughed at my foolishness.

Throughout the ceremony I could hear Jonah's little voice from the back of the room: "What's that lady doing there?" and "Want the lights on!" when they showed us patriotic videos of flags waving and George Bush welcoming us in God's name.

When George appeared on the video screen as I held an envelope entitled: A Message from the President of the United States of America, I couldn't help but think of the satirical President's Weekly Radio Address podcasts that Tim and I sometimes listen to. My mind also kept wandering to the back of the room, where two Iraqi men getting their U.S. citizenship sat as George's army continued bombarding their kin. I kept returning to the images of the Vietnamese refugees in the video montage on U.S. immigration throughout the ages that we watched that day, thinking about the wars this country has waged that forced such migrations and the Chinese Exclusion Act and other U.S. policies that cast a shadow on such a momentous occasion as this ceremony.

Here you can see a picture of me swearing I will be faithful.

Below you can see a video of Jonah and me after the ceremony. He really enjoyed waving the miniature flag.

While in the process, I also decided to change my name to match Tim's and my kids'. I did keep my former name as my middle name. I am very happy about that. This means not only that I don't feel like I'm losing my heritage and erasing my past, but also that my initials don't stand for a disease (i.e., TB). Since there isn't a big tradition of middle names in the old country, I now feel so special having a middle name!

Today I ran around a whole bunch of offices, putting in my name change. Jonah was so patient with me. The first thing I did was register to vote, which I was thrilled about. Signing with my new name takes some getting used to.

Do you think Tim loves me more now that I took his name? Just kidding!



When I finally got home that night, Tim and I celebrated with some bubbly apple cider and a documentary called El Inmigrante about Mexican migrants trying to cross the border and come to the U.S. for work. What a powerful film. It reminded me of how privileged I really am.

P.S. Thank you John & MaryAnn for the flowers! What a sweet gesture. They are beautiful!!!

"Open it!"

Today I talked with Jonah again about the new baby coming. I explained about how when the baby comes, it will stay with us and sleep and eat with us, how we will take it for walks in the stroller and change its diapers, how it will be our baby. Jonah got all excited and demanded that I open my stomach: "Open it!"

I explained that it was too early, that the baby was still growing inside and offered instead to read him a book we have borrowed from our midwife about a home birth. Jonah finds the story of the little boy and his mom giving birth to a new baby intriguing. When we first borrowed it, he wanted it read three to five times in a row several times a day.

I am so excited for Jonah to become a big brother.

my favorite root vegetable

Maybe I should add a Tim's quote of the week section to this blog. He comes up with the darnedest things. No wonder Jonah does too. Looking at a picture of himself, Tim said today: "I'm starting to look like a root." That's my lovely husband for you. Who wouldn't want be married to a root vegetable like the father of my child.

Japanese garden

This morning we took Jonah to the Portland Japanese Garden for the first time. What a magical place! He loved all the stairs, moss, rocks and water. It was actually a little bit hard to keep him from crawling around in the bushes and running into the tranquil, perfectly manicured Zen rock garden. But he was easy to distract with the next enticing thing to jump or walk on: a teeny bridge here, a mossy rock there, a bamboo fountain nearby...

Whenever there, I imagine being a monk and strolling around the garden each morning and meditating. Secretly I wish I could take a morning walk there alone before they open at least a couple times a week. The place is so calming and inspirational all at the same time. It truly feeds the soul. Pics at the bottom of this page.

landmark day

Today I am twenty-eight weeks along in my pregnancy. That means that I am now entering my third trimester. Only about three more months to go! Here is a picture I just took so you can see how big my belly is getting. Jonah is well aware of the fact that there is a baby inside of it, by the way. He told me completely spontaneously all about the baby in my belly today.

quote of the day

Now that I have quite a talker on my hands who comes up with amusing things every day, I decided to add a new section in the right hand column of my blog, where I will post some of his most memorable quotes. I will also keep adding the old ones to this post as I publish new ones, because I want to be able to remember them years from now. These are all spontaneous, "uncoached" quotes, mind you. Enjoy!

Past quotes:

FEBRUARY 2012 -

Mom (tucking Jonah in): "Did you know that Daddy and I really wanted you? That you are our dream come true?"
Jonah: "Did you know you were growing a beard, Tereza?"
Mom: "Oh. Where?"
Jonah: "Because I see some hair on your chin."
Mom: "How many hairs?"
Jonah: "Fourteen."


JANUARY 2012 -

"What if mouses were called dogs and dogs were called mouses?"


SEPTEMBER 2011 -

This one is in Czechglish: "Mama vylil kafe na her hair." (= Mom spilled coffee on her hair.)

"Mama is my favorite bottle to drink from."

"Mama has testicles in her boobs."

"Mama is my favorite bottle to drink from."

"Mama's face is doughy around the eyeballs."


MARCH 2011 -

"Mom, why don't you want to be a ninja when you grow up?"


JANUARY 2011 -

• J: "I'm a mathematician."
Me: "How are you a mathematician?"
J: "Let me show you." Counts to 68, burps, continues to 91, then skips to a thousand.

• Jonah asked what meeting I was going to. I said it was an interracial dialogue on the topic of racism. He asked what racism was, and when I explained, he said, "I can change that." How? "By fighting with words," he elaborated. "Remember? Like King Arthur." He meant MLK. :)

• "Mom, did you put some love in my food? Because it tastes sooo good."


OCTOBER 2010 -

• "I can change myself into a spear warrior or Met-Mo Met-Mo. If you touch Met-Mo Met-Mo, you die."


SEPTEMBER 2010 -

• "Mom, will you be my princess? I'll be your soldier. Do you know that when the princess lies in bed, the soldier guards her. He is in the bed too with his gun out."

• "Mom, do you like rock stars? I like rock stars."

• "Mom, I am a robot and I control you."

• "You can rub my feet while I get the missile."


JUNE 2010 -

• me: "It seems that you haven't been drinking much water."
J: "I drank fifteen-forty google drinks of water."

• "I burped my brain out."

• "I'm arguing with my brain."


MARCH 2010 -

• "Mom, I love your teeth. (Pause) They look green."

• "I saw her testicles! Not two times, but three times!" (about the communal male bunny named Daisy, whom we got to bring home for the weekend from Jonah's school)

• "Mom, you're my cannon bullet."

• me, about to serve Jonah a bagel: "Do you want half or the whole darn thing?"
J: "I want half. And it's not going to be darn."

• To dad: "You and mom deliver love to each other, and I deliver love to mom."

• "Rats look like rocks with pokey things."

• "I speak four languages: alien, dragon, Czech and English."


FEBRUARY 2010 -

• "Mom sounds like bomb. . . From now on can we call mom 'bomb'?"

• "Buttcracks are nice."

• J: "Mom, how tall are you?"
me: "5'5"
J: "When am I going to be 5'5"?"
me: "Probably when you're a teenager."
J: "Are you a teenager?"

• "Dad, I have a good idea. You can have your dream work and I can have my dream gun. . . Then you can do your work and I can play with my dream gun."

• "Mom, I like your size."

• "Mom, I like your knees."

• To me: "When you walk by, dad and I will shoot you and you'll fall in the (imaginary) water. But you won't be dead in the water. Just pretend skeletons."

• J: "Is there sunshine after we die?"
me: "What do you think happens after people die?"
J: "They get shot by missiles."

• "I'm not going to cry now. I'll just shoot." (uh-oh)



JANUARY 2010 -

• "Hello, pork!"

• To mom: "You're an office."

• "Mom, let me tell you something." Whispering: "McDonald's has french fries and ketchup. Don't tell dad that. It's a secret."

• "Mom, I'm a warrior."

• "MOM, DO YOU LIKE TRIPPING AT THE DISCO?"

• "Was the cemetery where you got married? . . . Militaries is where you get married."

• To mom: "I'm always right and you're always wrong."

• To mom: "That's illegal; you can't kiss me!"

• "My airplane when I grow up into a big boy is going to have an upstairs and a downstairs. It's going to be huge. It's going to have guns on the bottom. My airplane's going to be a Transformer--a battling one. It'll turn into a robot that will have eleven arms on it. The crew name is going to be Servers. And they go like wacko and they pull the lever and stop."

• "You should get dad potato juice."

• "Gorillas are actually tarantulas because gorillas are big and fluffy."

• To mom: "Now you're dead meat."

• To mom: "I'm gonna do some easy capoeira moves so you can copy them."

• "That's how you make a birthday cake: you should use green mayonnaise and some whipped cream and candles for the top and a plate for the bottom."


DECEMBER 2009 -

• While Tim's out Xmas shopping, Jonah pokes his head into the kitchen: "Mom, are you having a good bachelor time?" I ask: "You mean without daddy?" He says: "No, I mean without me!"

• While nuzzling Mom: "I called you butt. Butt is your name."

• Looking in Mom's eyes: "Part of your eyes is white and part is like an olive."

• J: "Ah!"
Tim: "Are you okay?"
J: "My missile fell."

• From the toilet through a cracked bathroom door: "Would you jump in if there was ever a green hand coming to get me?"

• "Space aliens suck your brains out with a straw."

• "You are a mommy and you're also a hammer."

• "You're a buttosaurus."

• "You're luggage!"

• "What happens if a dumb bug is inside you? They have one eye, two horns and sharp teeth."

• J: "What kind of people make spiders?"
me: "People don't make spiders."
J: "So how did they get made?"
me: "Through evolution."
J: "What is evolution?"

• In one breath: "Grandpa, I like you. Do you like McDonald's Happy Meal?"

• "Tarantulas are not spiders. They're humongous apes. They shoot splinters with guns."


JULY 2009 -

• "Dad and I are electric men."

• "Do you know which one is called a hooker gun? It shoots out big blades or knives or fire."

• "Mom, I'm going to be a knight when I grow up."


JUNE 2009 -

• "Dad, you're a hot item for the stove."

• "Mommy, I like you and I'm gonna spray you with fire when you come home. You can tell your students that."

• "I am a robot; a yellow robot. Do you want to put coins in me?"

• To mom, affectionately: "You mushy contaminant"

• "I wanna do a monkey pay for you. You'll get paid by a monkey."

• "I made jail for mom."

• "Mom, do you want to shoot my gun?... It shoots liquid fire."

• To mom: "You are my slobbery woman."

• J: "Dad, I'm shot. I'm shot with an arrow."
Tim: "Who would've done such a thing? Your mother?"

• "Mom, I have a villa and you don't wanna see it."

• "I shot an arrow into your head."

• "Mom, I made an explosion of balls and fire.... I break down cars."

• "I don't need a heart, 'cause I'm a puppet. I'm your friend Puppet."

• "Mommy, you're my boy. Boy, you have to listen to me and play by yourself. You have to play video games."

• "I act so much angry when mosquitoes eat me."

• "Does America speak magic?"

• Randomly while running around: "Pakistan!"

• "Don't believe my poison body."

• "My poison protects me, so Tim, touch me!"

• Jonah's 'funny insults' for mom:
You're runaway dynamite!
You're runaway dough!
You bowl of jello!
Comrat (almost a comrade, NOT)
You sweaty multiface!

• To dad: "Tim, you're a contaminant robot."

• "I am a robot and I have my bow in my hand and my quiver. I'll set my warrior stuff down here."

• "My gun will shoot a big oxen tank."

• "I'll shoot my fire gun and everyone will burn. But you (mom) will not because you have a very good plan."

• "I have so many cigarette stuff in here (shows a case full of cigarette-shaped items)."

• To mom: "I put dad in jail. You'll stay with me. You're my friend. You're my police girl."

• "I'm a mysterious man. I only live in the magic place."

• "I'm a mysterious man. I come out at night. I'm a haunting guy."

• "I'm electric guy. I have electric in my belly and feel my head."

• "Mom, I am half man and half bull and I live in space and I have magic clothes on me and I do magic by spinning around."

• "I have a marshmallow motorcycle that shoots out fire."

• "My poison makes people hard like salami."

• "My belly is full of poison."

• "I have a poison butt."

• "I have a poison crotch."

• "I always eat something and then I drop the bone outside on the bad guys. (mom laughs)) It's not funny."

• "I'm just a regular knight and I have regular weapons, a regular helmet and shining armor."

• "I'm a knight. Why did you just call me Jonah? I'm Sir Knight."

• To mom: "It's night, my queen."

• To mom & dad: "You guys can sleep on powerful boulders."

• "Everything I made is on fire."

• "I'm not as cool as you are, mommy."


MAY 2009 -

• "We're going to a big war, Tereza. You can win. You can beat daddy and I can too. We can be two winners, but he won't be the winner."

• "Mom, what are humans?"

• "Chewbacca is a sleeping artist. He fixes spaceships."

• "Chewbacca, you should listen to me. "

• "Smell me, 'cause I smell right, like the Boba Fetts that smell right."

• "I'm the type of Boba Fett that smells right."

• "Mommy, I'm a nice bad guy."

• "Mommy, don't worry. I'll always protect you."

• "Mommy, I'm a real big man.

• "My wife, kiss my foot.

• "I'll show you one of my lants (read lance)). It's a lant from 86 war. It's old."

• "I'm making metal armor, my wife."

• "My wife, how do you like me?"


APRIL 2009 -

• "I have a billy club 'cause I'm the police. My name is Police Chief."

• me: "What do you think P.O.O.P spells? It starts with a P."
J: "Uhm..."
me: "Poop."
J: "No, poop starts with a fart."

• "Mom, come sit in my missile truck."

• "Mom, you're construction squirrel. Dad, you're firefighter squirrel, and I am scuba diver squirrel."

• To me (not on my birthday): "I am doing a birthday surgery on you."

• "I'll be a naked-style guy and I'll play football."

• "I'm king Arthur, mom."

• "Grandma, you can be part of the war. I'm part of the war."

• "I'll poke you with my porcupine boots."

• "I'm a pig. No, I'm a knight."

• "I'm the knight that moves. I'm a moving knight."


MARCH 2009 -

• me: "You're my handsome sweetheart."
J: "Yes, I'm very handsome."

• "I'm going to fix  the light bulbs with garlic."

• to me: "I have a helmet on, I'm going to explode you and then you can eat."

• "Dad said I can explode him. Dad has time for that."

• "I have oxygen tank. It sprays out every people that don't listen."

• "I'm not funny. If you laugh, I'll poke you. I'll poke you with my poking things."

• me: "What's the kind of a dance you'll do?"
J: "Police dance."



FEBRUARY 2009 -

• "I am a pirate king and I have a pirate patch. A fish poked my eye."

• "My garbage truck takes beer and alcohol to the dump."

• "Tereza, let's fight. That will cheer you up. Fighting will be fun."

• to mom: "Follow me, fart!"

• "This is my beer 'cause I always drink beer 'cause I'm a big man... and I don't knock things over."

• "I always drink and I always drive."

• "Do you know what my parlor is? (Shows a toy saw) This is my parlor."

• "I'll drill through your děda? (Czech for grandpa). I'm doing surgery on him. I have a tessascope."

• "We don't have any daddies at home. I'm the daddy. Wanna come with me and cook?"

• J: "Tady máš kafe. (Here is your coffee.)"
me: For a baby?
J: "No, you're a baby who likes kafe."

• To me: "Baby, do you wanna learn to cook? You can cook baby, 'cause now you're a boy, baby. Cook, boy, cook!"

• "My name is mischief."

• "I am an enemy."


JANUARY 2009 -

• Ordering at a pizza restaurant: "I want pig."

• To me: "I am your daddy pirate."

• After brushing his own hair: "I look more better now."

• "I was a fire truck gorilla."
"I am a boy monkey."

• "I am the light bulb guy. I have a beard."

• "What is it liberty?"

• "We can go in my police building and you'll be so happy there. . . You can exercise and then dance (there)."

• J: "Look up at the sun."
me: "No, it hurts my eyes."
J: "No, it says: 'I love you. I won't hurt your eyes anymore.'"

• J: "Don't pass up this chance to wear a mask."
me: "Where did you learn that expression?"
J: "From a fire truck ad."

• "I'm a pipe worker. I have a pipe loader." and "I'm a pipe loader. This is the pipe yard."

• "There's still poop falling out of me."

• "I was there working in a noodle fog."

• "I'm a robot who eats gravel."


DECEMBER 2008 -

• While looking through a toy catalog he cherishes and calls his magazine: "Mom, can I get this red computer... because I have red shirts?" (As can be seen, Jonah is perfecting his persuasive skills.)

• "I farted and I'm a crane."

• "The police are at my house 'cause they're getting a witch who ran away."

• To Tim: "You have a hair appointment. I have to draw a plan. (Draws). I drawed hair and I'll cut it and give it to you and then you'll have a hair appointment."

• "Doctor, I cut your fingers off."

• "I am a beer can."

• "I'm a ghost who explores."

• J: "I'm a doctor."
me: "What's your specialty area?"
J: "I'm a huge doctor who skateboards."

• "I am a chef. I choose the beer. I choose a good one. It's sweet. It has a little bit of wine in it, so you (mom) can have it special."

• "My name is Your Daddy."

• "My skeleton will save you."

• "Mom, you're a big piece of tuna."

• J (on Christmas Eve): "I'm going to go to your room and not look."
Tim: "Why are you going to do that?"
J: "'Cause Santa comes when you're not looking."

• me: "You're so sweet."
J: "Yeah, I'm sweet."

• to me, in the living room: "Let's have a picnic here. I'll catch a weasel to eat."

• To Tim: "Eyeore, the sink knocked me down."

• "I am a present."

• J: "Mom, do you have champagne here?"
me: "Yes, it's in the fridge."
J: "Mom, did we get married?"

• Matter-of-factly describing a drawing with a green marker in a notebook: "That's a dissapointment."

• To me: "Come with me. Don't worry about any skeletons."

• "I'm a construction dog."

• "Dad is meat."

• "I am a pirate fox and I'm furry all over."

• "I'm not tired. I'm not ever tired."

• Pretending to be (a medieval?) doctor: "I'll take your blood out 'cause you're hurt."

• "I ate a part of myself."

• "I'm a doggie, walking in water."

• "You wanna shiver with me, daddy?"

• "I better hurry, so I can catch up with the bad guys."


NOVEMBER 2008 -

• Jonah, talking about what happened at school: "They took my food away."
me: "Why? You didn't eat your lunch?"
Jonah: "I only ate the brown stuff."
me: "What was the brown stuff?"
Jonah: "It was like poop."

• "Let's play golf without pants."

• "Mom, I very much love you."

• "I'm a girl who's a fire police girl."

• "Mom, I made up a joke: shoot, toot."

• "Daddy, help mom's butt."

• "Mommy, what do we go to school for?"

• me: "What do you wanna do when you grow up.... when you're a big man?"
J: "I will not do anything. I will not teach any kids."

• "I am a bumble and I bumbled you."

• "I'm a police woman."

• "I'm a helmet boy."

• "I'm a boy toy."

• "It's Sunday. Sunday means I can dig."

• "I am a digger and I dug up the whole world."

• "It's fun being a kid."

• "I am a pirate. I have a sword in one hand and a camera in the other. One is for helping, and the other for taking pictures."

• J (while riding me like a horse): "I broke you a little bit."
me: "Can somebody come and fix me?"
J: "There's nobody here to fix you."

• "I'm the police who says: 'Stop! Don't use nuts.'"

• J: I threw a beard at you(r face).
me: Would you shave it off for me, please?
J: No, you can't shave it off. It has a special magnet on it.

• "Where is I? Here I am."

• me: Tomorrow is a school day.
J: This is not tomorrow.

• "I'm a fire snake."

• "Mom, you're a garbage can... You're full. You get dumped after I roll you."


OCTOBER 2008 -

• "I'm a casserole in a bowl."

• "Alcohol is for hurt knees."

• "We farted out cheese and it went on top of us and it's dancing."

• "Mom, I licked you. You are like a big chicken."

• "I have to eat my lunch before transporting blood."

• "Mom, dogs go like this (sniffing) because they smell every poops."

• To me: "Your belly is the size of meat. I'm gonna cook you up."

• me: "I think I'm gonna eat you for lunch."
J: "No, I'm not good because I'm a boy."

• To me: "Don't be afraid. I'm Lukie Luke. I'm gonna help you put on your pajamas."

• Jonah (walking around with a pretend fire hose, looking for action): "Mom, is your bed on fire?"
me: "Yes, it is. How did you know?"
Jonah: "I looked it up on the internet."

• J: "This is my truck and I'm a vet and I take tails away 'cause I have to take them some place else."
me: "What tails?"
J: "Some doggie tails."


SEPTEMBER 2008 -

• Glancing at a photo of my college classmate in drag: "Is this a scary lady?"

• Asking about a children's magazine I bought him at the newspaper stand: "Is mine an adult magazine?"

• me: "How many fingers does daddy have?"
Jonah: "Three."

• "I don't want to go to school ever again."

• "Dad, you're meat. Meat is from pig. Pig has a lot of meat."

• to me: "I named you 'Tereza Daddo.'"

• Out of the blue and sealed with a hug: "Fantastic mom!"

• "I wanna drink milk to get old."

• To me: "Hello Mom Baby."

• In a rumbling, big bear voice: "Mom, I'm gonna shave you. I do have a shaver in my pocket. You can't shave me, because I'm so big. I'm a big bear. I will shave myself."

• Wiping away one of my kisses: "I never want to be kissed ever again!"

• J: Mom, I made twenty money.
me: How did you make it?
J: I made it on top of the fire truck.

• J: Mom, do I have a computer?
me: No, daddy and I have computers, but you don't have a computer. You can pretend, though.
J: Why don't I have a computer?
me: Only big people have computers.
J: I'm bigger, already.

• "I was talking on the walkie-talkie to some other garbage men who wanted me."
A little while later: "I have a walkie-talkie. It's a black one. I have to talk to people on the phone. It's a special kind of phone. It's called a phone pocket."

• "I have three money now... We can buy the big front loader with these three money!"

• "Chinese food is bear pandas and I don't want pandas." (Mind you, we've never been to the Panda fast food chain. He asked about it when passing by on the street months ago. What a memory!)

• "Do you like chicken? Chicken is from pig."

• "Dad, let me tell you something: bears do love to go in fridges."

• J: "Mom, you're a baby and you're going to school."
me: "What will you do if I cry?"
J: "I will say: don't cry, go play. I will pick you up. (Leaves the room and comes back.) "I picked you up from school."
me: "What will you do if I cry, scream, and kick (Like Jonah did today)?"
J: I will put you in a garbage can and crush you." (Hmm... thanks for the tip, son.)

• Talking to Tim on the phone about his Czech lesson: "Did you talk to anyone (there)?" (Pause) "Did you cry, daddy?"

• "Ducks lay chickens."

• Jonah, randomly: "Wart hog!"
me, laughing: "Jonah, I love you!"
Jonah: "Mom, you're a wart hog."

• J: "How was your day, mom?"
me: "It was nice. My favorite part was with you. How was your day? What was your favorite part?"
J: "Mine was when I was alone at school without you."

• "I'm a butter boy."

• "Hello, baby Tereza."

• "I hit you because I didn't want an lessons... I didn't want to hear any talking from you guys."

• J: We are not birds.
Tim: What are we?
J (with a mischievious smile): We are cats.

• Pretending to order food on the phone: "Please give me food and drink"

• "I like watching ads."

• "I'm walking you like a dog, daddy."

• "I don't have a tail because my crotch is in the way."


AUGUST 2008 -

• "I'm vaří (= cooks in Czech) pancakes, soup, french fries and hamburgers. That's good for you?"

• "Mom, I love you. I'm gonna crush up you."

• Jonah: "What's 'damn it' means?"
me: "It's something you say when you're angry."
Jonah: "Maybe it's like a coffee pot name."

• to me: "You'll be put in a box and mailed to China without any food. China has a lot of food for womens and daddos."

• "Take a picture of my butt."

• After I told him he can't drink any of my sake because it has alcohol: "What alcohol is, daddy?"

• J: "Dad, you're a sucker! (Pause) Did you say sucker, daddy? (Pause) What's sucker mean?"
Tim: "Sucker is a foolish guy."
J: "Dad you're not a sucker."

• J: "Do you see this (picture of a) semi? The semi's mad. It's angry."
me: "Do you ever get angry? What do you do when you get angry?"
J: "I scare myself."

• me: "Are you Czech or American?"
J: "I'm just Jonah."

• me to Tim, joking about a ridiculous-looking fellow singing in a video shown on an airplane: "Can I have two husbands?"
Jonah, angrily: "No, I don't want mom have two husbands!!!"

• Randomly: "Surveyors!"

• Randomly: "Systems!"

• "How old are you, daddy? ... Is it eleven?"

• "I love you, daddy. I love you, mommy. I love myself."

• After Jonah asked why a Czech children's story character had a particular name, I said: "because he was named that" for a lack of a better answer. Then I asked Jonah why he was named Jonah. He replied: "Because I do things."

• me: Am I a good mommy?
Jonah (Kissing me): Yes. (Pause) I'm a bad boy.
me: Why are you a bad boy?
Jonah: Because I hit things.

• "I love shopping centers."


JULY 2008 -

• "I'm a big hiccupotamus."

• "I'm a jump boy. I jump very high."

• "I'm a night man and I'm blue. And daddy is a bad guy. He has a scratchy back."

• "Mommy, I'm a scary thing. I'm a bad thing with a bad hammer."

• Tim: "What country are you from?"
Jonah: "My house."

• me: "I like looking at the clouds in the sky. They are beautiful."
Jonah (looking at the clouds): "They look like sunflowers."

• "I'm a frozen pea."

• "I'm your daddy, daddy."

• me: "Do you know what your name means? A beautiful white dove bird."
Jonah: "No, I'm not a dove bird; I'm just a boy."

• "I'm (as) big as a dump truck."
To me (on another occasion): "I think you're short."

• "I have a swimming cool. Wanna go in it? I brought swimming suits and a towel."

• "You're water and you're gorgeous, mom."

• "I'm rain and I'm tickling the water (on the lake)."

• "Mom, you're fantastic."

• To me: "You are cheese. I'm gonna skateboard all over you."

• To me: "I love you ... and peace."

• "I like that (mint toothpaste) flavor. I'm a mint boy; spicy one."

• To me: "I think you are short."

• "I'm not a radio. I'm just a boy, mom."

• "My knee is very special. It has a leg next to it."

• "Mom, I made up a rhyme: feta, FedEx."

• Tim: "Where do you want to ride your scooter?"
Jonah: "To Prague."

• "I don't like twins; they are scary... Pagans are scary."

• "I'm a denture, daddy."

• "I'm not a kitty or a vet. I'm just a boy."

• "You'll help me while I build a house. I will be very hardworking."

• While drinking orange juice from a shot glass: "I'm drinking whiskey."


JUNE 2008 -

• me: "You're so wonderful."
Jonah: "No, I'm bad."

• "Thank you for kissing me."

• "Jesus, you scared me!"

• "We all love each other." (To me:) "You're a friend of mine."

• J: "I threw that poop book away."
me: "What's a poop book?"
J: "You sit on the toilet and read that book while you poop."

• Asking me: "You love me with socks on?"

• about Tim: "He's handsome."

• (Shaking a doll's hand) "How'd you meet me."

• "When I grow up into big man, I'll drive that garbage truck, wear a hat and gloves and hop in."

• "Wanna hug me for a reason?"

• "Mommy, I hate smoking... 'cause I'm strange."

• To Tim: "Good job washing your hair."

• "When I grow up into big man, I'll drive that garbage truck, wear a hat and gloves and hop in..."

• "You forgot me, mommy."

• To our cat Fini while she drinks wanter: "Great job drinking."

• "When I grow up into hot boy, I'll have hot sauce."

• "I'm down in the dumps with you."

• "I don't like carburator."

• "I like you so much. You're a good mom. You're a good woman for me. Thanks for making that to eat."


MAY 2008 -

• After work: "Mom, I like you so much. I missed you."

• to me in one breath: "You're crazy maniac. Hi sweetheart."

• "You'll dream about me making a sidewalk."

• "You can sundat my bundu."
sundat = Czech for "take off"
bundu = jacket

• "I will not speak Czech with you."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to."

• "You did not know me when I was throwing those blocks."

• "Mom, you are my sweetheart."

• "I have kitties. They're not named Hot Dog. They're named Fini and Pancho."

• "Fini's my mom." (Sarafina, or Fini, is one of our cats)

• (to Fini, our cat) "I'm gonna tell you a secret: (whispers) I love tractors."

• Jonah: (Pointing at a picture of a cat)"This kitty makes milk."
me: "For her babies?"
Jonah: "She does. (Pause.) Out of her butt right there."

• "I throw furry noodles at you."

• to mom: "I('ll) put you in ZOO."

• "I'm a huge garbage man."

• "I have lots of work jobs."

• Jonah (handing me a fork): "Here you go."
me: "Are you a waiter?"
Jonah (pouting): "No, I'm your friend."

• to me: "Thanks for making coffee and drinking it."

• "I'm gonna draw, mom, a little bit on this verbs."

• to me (intensely, yet lovingly): "I'm gonna put you (in the) toilet and flush you."

• Jonah: "I like sports."
Tim: "What's your favorite sport?"
Jonah: "It is ball sport."

• "I'm overly tired."

• "Mom, you're a weird man."

• "I'm a huge boy."

• Jonah: "Never mind."
me: "What does never mind mean?"
Jonah: "No way, hot dog."

• "I'm not a big boy; I'm just a little boy."

• Glancing at his second poop ever in a potty (recent development): "It made like a cookie."

• To me: "I thinked of you (while trying to fall asleep)."

• "Mom, you're so pretty."

• "I crowed the verbs. .. I crowed one verb."

• "I threw my nose at you."

• "My tools are exhausted."

• (Dumping lego man from a toy cherry picker) "I dumped uncle."

• Describing his car repair shop: "There is a little sign up there. It says go to shop or not go shop up there on the wall."

• "I got pioneers." (meaning pinecones)

• Opening the door and glancing inside: "Hi there, fridge."

• "No, I can't pee, mother."

"Mom, don't drink my hot chocolate. It says tiger on it. It says: 'Tiger: A, B, C, D.'"

• "Let's go dad. I'm not kidding."


APRIL 2008 -

• "You wanna look at my list? I have grocery items."

• "I am my daddy."

• "I am eating peanut my butter."

• "I'm gonna put these batteries inside the trunk and it'll work trunking."

• "I'm my son."

• "Kiss my truck."

• "Let's read that garbage."

• "Mom, maybe you'll be alligator some day with me. You'll swim with me, go up and under and catch salmon. Wanna do that?"

• While watching me cook: "I like you. You're a good cutter, mommy. You're a good fryer."

• While watching dad make pancakes: "Dad's a good maker."

• To me : "I like you very so much."

• "Mom, I'm germ-free."

• me: "Ten more minutes and we go inside and make lunch."
Jonah: "Protein."

• To me: "Thank you for pee with me."

• "I like you so much. You're a nice guy, daddy."

• "Right on. I said: 'right on.'"

• "Mom, you're wacko."

• "Mom, you're exhausting me."

• "I'm just a little boy, mom... so small."

• Tim: "Jonah, how old are you?"
J: "I'm pretty good."



MARCH 2008 -

• Jonah: "My body's getting sore here."
me: "Where? It hurts? What does it hurt from?"
Jonah, pointing to his side: "From noodle."

• "Mommy and daddy loves it. I don't love my skin."

• "You('re) a nice woman, mom."

• To dad: "My fart said hi to you."

• Jonah: "I'm sad, mommy."
me: "What are you sad about, sweetheart?"
Jonah: "I'm sad about daddy go to work. (Pause.) I'm happy though."

• "I'm annoying, mom."

• About Tim who was eating while driving: "He's driving with food. He's crazy."

• "You are dumpling, mom."

• Jonah: What's that I smell?
me: I don't know. What do you smell?
Jonah: I smell you, mom.
me: Do I smell nice or bad?
Jonah: You smell bad, mom.

• "Worms love me."

• To dad before a trip: "Put me in the car and drive me crazy."

• Jonah after overhearing us talking about Pagans: "Where are the Pagans at?"
Tim: "They are (probably) home watching TV."
Jonah: "They are people. They act like monkeys." (After a while) "Hug me. I'm scared of Pagans."

• Jonah: "You're different, mom."
me: "What am I different from?"
Jonah: "From diggers."

• "I smoked, mom."

• Jonah (Looking at a plastic kids' plate he was eating from): "What's that letters about?"
me: "It says 'Cutie Pie' on that plate."
Jonah: "What does 'cutie' means?"
me: "Cutie pie means that someone is sweet or nice."
Jonah: "I call myself cutie."

• "I smoked them down to the ground."
Later: "I'm gonna blow them down to ground. (Looking at me) Wanna write that one?"

• "I am eating my germs, mom."

• To mom, sweetly: "Do you wanna eat garbage in your garbage mouth?"

• "You are egg, mom. I'm gonna hit you on pot. I'm gonna fork you and eat you."


FEBRUARY 2008 -

• Tim: "Good night, Jonah. I love you."
Jonah: "I love uncle Andy. He has his own hammer."

• Jonah musing on a typical two-year-old-vs.-mom power struggle: "I am boss. You are a baby, mommy."

• me: "How did you sleep?"
Jonah: "I sleep fifteen hours."

• Jonah: "What are you doing, mommy? You scratching your head?"
me: "I'm thinking."
Jonah: "I'm not thinking."

• "I'm a big boy. I'm gonna have a shake milk."

• During a check-up with the midwives to himself: "Height, weight, vitamins."

• "I have big mouth and big hair like uncle Andy."

• "I like you. You (are a) good man, daddy."

• "I'm (gonna) Skype you, mommy."

• me, on a walk: "Those flowers smell so nice."
Jonah: "They're not gonna hurt me."
me: "No, they won't. They have no thorns."
Jonah: "They love me. Those bushes love me. Those trees love me."

• "I'm a lazy loafer."

• "I'm (a) maniac."

• Jonah: Do you want cheese?
me: No, thank you.
Jonah: I'm gonna get the cheese and cut it and stick it in Grady Grader* and grade it and put in your mouth and you will like it.
*A character in a John Deere brand construction equipment coloring book

• "I am a book. Wanna read me? Wanna put me in the slot*?"
*Like at the library.

• "I like your ears, mommy."

• Annoyed at mom who was smelling and kissing his head and neck: "I'm not food!"

• "I'm a caffeine man."

• "I love Lincoln beard."

JANUARY 2008 -

• While drinking soy milk from a coffee mug at breakfast: "I'm drinking coffee. I like beer too."

• "There is a digger in my butt."

• While making up a story together about Jonah working on a construction site together with his friends:

me: "After work Jonah, Finn, Ira and Max go to the restaurant. What do you eat there?"
Jonah: "Bones."
me: "What do you drink?"
Jonah: "Water, beer, and coffee."

• To a doll warming up the new swing for the soon-to-be-born baby: "I'm gonna get a beer for you. You can drink it."

• me: "You're wonderful."
Jonah: "No, I'm not wonderful. The baby is wonderful."
me: "Which baby?"
Jonah: (pointing at my belly) "That baby."

• "I'm kind of odd, daddy."

• "I'm a stinky criminal."

• "That's puke. No, that's not puke; that's a lady."

• At dinner:
Tim: "What's the nicest thing you did for mom today?"
Jonah: "I find poop."

• Tim: "Do you want to hear the story of when I proposed to mom?"
Jonah: "How about dump truck (one)?"

• About my stretch marks: "You have lots of lines. I'm gonna take a blue bulldozer and smooth them."

• While "typing" on dad's computer: "My internet is almost ready."

• "Take a picnic on the garbage truck, mommy."

• Enlightening me on his Lego project: "I'm not making poison; it's a control tower."

• While jumping around the house: "Your turn, mommy."
me: "I can't jump with my big belly."
Jonah: "Daddy, you jump with your belly."

• Tim (to Jonah): "Who loves you?"
Jonah: "I love me."


DECEMBER 2007 -

• Me: "I love you, Jonah. Did you know you were my friend? And my son too?" Jonah: "And sweetheart too."

• Randomly, while running around the house: "Statue of Liberty!"

• In the car while picking me up from work with dad: "I love you, mommy." Me with a tear in my eye: "Oh, that's so nice." Jonah, looking out the window: "I love you, store."

• "I'm so happy. It's wonderful. It's family... Wonderful family."

• "I'm pooping with my noodles."

• me: "What would you like for snack? Víno (=grapes)?" Jonah: "Little beer. I want to drink a little beer."

• "I'm looking at splendor there... with that junk."

• "I'm gonna be a co-worker. Wanna be a co-worker? . . . Mommy will sit in the co-worker seat. . . Wanna drive now in the telephone repair truck? I'm gonna be in the driver's seat. I'm gonna get the screw driver and the pliers out and the wrench out and the hammer out. Mommy will hammer and hammer."

• After our most recent trip to the ZOO
me: "What was your favorite animal?"
Jonah: "The tractor."
me: "Did you like any of the animals?"
Jonah: "The tractor ones."

• Tim: "Did you know you have Viking ancestry?" Jonah: "Where Vike went?"

• While playing in the bath: "I sweep all nasty. More nasty. More nasty. There all dirty things in there. Washing all dirty things."

• New trend: when I try to kiss Jonah now, he tries to push me away with the words, "Don't love me, mommy."


NOVEMBER 2007 -

• While pretending to talk on the phone: "Hi bro!"

• "I'm a motoring boy. . . Motoring man."

• While playing "grocery store cashier" and "shopper": "Thanks, debit man."

• "It's a broken noodle. Fix it in the garage."

• While eating chicken for dinner: "Mommy eating slobbery bone."

• Riding his tricycle converted into a garbage truck: "Jonah drop mommy off right over there on the garbage can."

• "I'm gonna call Spooky. Hi Spooky! This is speaker phone. Bye Spooky."

• In the "personal care" section of the supermarket, vehemently: "I wanna shaver! I wanna shave my beard!"

• "I'm gonna buy this shirt. I'm gonna buy organic socks too."

• "Freakout! I freaked out!"

• "Hey, Elmo. Wanna play? Want a beer?"

• "I slam-dunked a noodle."

• "I'm gonna gas mommy up . . . Thanks regular man . . . I'm a regular man."

• "That diaper is grody now."

• After playing doctor, checking mom's belly, listening to the baby and saying: "It's a little bit kicking, mommy," Jonah said: "I'm gonna pee on a stick."

• "Oh, my coffee... Perfect!"

• "It's a crappy day."

• "Mommy draw a concrete mixer. Wow! I check this concrete mixer out. I love this concrete mixer, man."

• "I'm a landlord."

• "I'm a composting man."

• "I'm a Monday man."

• "I am a nipple man... I'm a funny nipple man."



OCTOBER 2007 -

• "I pooped in the fridge."

favorite games

Here is a sampling of the type of imaginative play Jonah has been enjoying (in chronological order from oldest to latest):

- cooking (using real pots, wooden spoons, strainers, and what not)

- driving a bus (that's really our car), taking change from riders (me) and giving them tickets.

- parking and driving his little cars and trucks, especially the latest addition to his collection: the monster truck.

- grocery store (setting groceries and other items on the "cash register," putting them in bags, and running the debit card through.

- skateboarding (running, jumping, and spinning in the air)

- "driving" his uncle's car and pretending it is a digger or tractor.

- "swimming" around on the wooden floor, pretending to be a seal or otter

- collecting garbage and recycling in buckets, then driving it around in his "dump truck," a tricycle on whose handle I hung a round plastic planter.

crazy month

This has been a busy month for us. So much going on! We just got back Monday from a three-day stay at a beach house in Washington state to celebrate Jonah's uncle's birthday with him, his wife, and another couple who also has a baby on the way, due only a month before ours. On the way up we stopped to visit Jonah's great-grandmother who lives half way between us and our weekend destination. I included a picture of her with Jonah and Tim. More pics here.

We had a nice time on our trip.

Other than work, parenting, and pregnancy I have been juggling academics for two classes I have recently taken and a family emergency of sorts many of you know about. If not, drop me a line and I will explain. I don't want to put this one in the public domain.

As if that wasn't enough, some jerk, either an unsuccessful thief or crazed vandal, completely smashed in the passenger window on our family car while it was parked in front of my work in the evening. So we had to deal with that.

I try to not let things get to me, especially being pregnant, since I don't want the stress to mess up my or the baby's health. But it hasn't been easy. The getaway definitely helped, as do autumn activities like baking, cooking, and fall holiday rituals.

Not to forget, on Monday I have my citizenship interview and civics test, for which I have to study, so keep your fingers crossed. (How many native-born Americans can correctly recite the thirteen original states, state the exact year the Constitution was written, name the person who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner, say how many voting members are in the House of Representatives or give the correct number of constitutional amendments? If you can without looking it up, holler.) By the way, how tricky of them is it to schedule my appointment the day after the time changes, huh? Since the clock moves back, though, coming in late is not as much of a possibility as showing up one hour early. That would be a drag! If all goes well, I will be able to vote in the next presidential election for the first time. Who hoo! I definitely look forward to that.

Mr. or Ms. In-Utero

Today was check-up day. The whole nuclear family was involved, as usual. Tim likes to be at all the prenatal appointments and Jonah always comes along as well. "It's a family affair," just like Sly and the Family Stone used to sing.

Jonah likes visiting our midwife. She has a basket of toys for kids to play with, which he enjoys immensely. Today he tried the child-sized stethoscope. Fun!

Mr. or Ms. In-Utero seems to be doing fine - strong heartbeat, about the right size and weight as far as we can tell ... I feel good. Twelve more weeks to go (or so). On Friday I will be entering the third trimester.

Jonah doesn't seem phased by the idea that there is a baby in my belly at all. He takes it quite matter-of-factly, a fantastic surprise.

When I told him that last weekend we were going to go to a beach house and see friends, among them one who has a baby in her belly, he said without pausing or flinching: "Like mommy." He totally gets it. How amazing.

Halloween

Everybody at work wanted to know if we were taking Jonah trick-or-treating today. Because most of my students have children trick-or-treating age, I ended up canceling class, so as not to break up families, or at least not to feel guilty about ruining family bonding time. Jonah, on the other hand, is still too young for walking around the dark streets in a costume, looking for candy.

Tim and I were so lackadaisical about Halloween, as we are about most things, that we let the one pumpkin we brought home from the pumpkin patch rot through and through before getting to the carving. Luckily we had another one we bought from the farm store adjacent to the pumpkin patch. Tim tried to get Jonah excited about carving the pumpkin while I was at work today to no avail. He did get Jonah to scoop out some of the innards while quickly snapping a picture.

I don't believe in purchased costumes or ones made only by adults, and especially not in dressing up children that are too young to know what's going on just to parade them in front of the fam or everyone else on the block. Despite that, this was cute. Daddy decided to dress son up in a construction outfit comprised of items which are already part of his wardrobe: overalls, flannel shirt, and a hard hat Jonah recently got in the mail from his grandma. Tim helped Jonah stuff his pockets and loops with tools including hammer, wrench, paint brush, and screw driver. When I got home from work early, Jonah was in the midst of fixing everything he could get his hands on as sort of a combination repair/construction man. He instantly pulled me into his activities by handing me his tools and asking me to paint the mini cement mixer and fix his tiny pick up truck.


Right before dinner, we lit up the small pumpkin Tim had carved on the porch. Lo and behold, we did have one set of trick-or-treaters. They were a boy and a girl about six and eight years of age with their mom hovering in the background. The girl was dressed as some unrecognizable (at least to me) character and the boy had on a cape and a hideous gray plastic mask that covered his face with thick warty skin and head with fake matted hair. Talk about scary. They refused the candy I handed them and reached into the bowl for a different type: "I don't like that one. I want that one." Okay brats, I thought. Their mom, embarrassed, giggled in the shadows.

Jonah was scared and traumatized by this seemingly mundane event. He reached for me in a panic, wanting to be picked up as soon as ugly boy showed up. Afterwards he couldn't stop asking: "Where Spooky went?" We even made a trip out on the porch to check and make sure "Spooky" was gone. I tried explaining that Spooky was just a little boy wearing a mask, but the encounter was just too real and terrifying for Jonah. Bye, bye, Spooky a.k.a. Brat, don't you come around here no more, I say. And no nightmares either, please.

first pumpkin patch experience

This afternoon we decided to venture out to a pumpkin farm with Jonah. The farm we picked was huge! It was the perfect day to go - no rain! Jonah loved the hay ride and then walking around the patch, looking for pumpkins, most of which were already rotten or blasted from the torrential rains we've had. We did finally find a good one. Jonah seems to love being on farms. I can tell farm life is in his blood. After the trip to the farm, Jonah said for the first time: "That was fun."

I put some pictures here and here is a couple of videos from our pumpkin patch adventure:

hay ride:



a walk around the pumpkin patch:

insomnia's here again

Well, now that I am nearing the third trimester of my pregnancy, my dear friend from the last go-around, insomnia, has visited me again. Almost every night I wake up between one and three in the morning, wide awake and can't get to sleep for about two hours. What do I do then? I get a snack and look up stuff on the computer. Sometimes I blog. I wish this wasn't the case. Now I'm dreading getting bigger, heavier, and achier and having to endure it for another three months. I'm actually still pretty comfortable, but compared to my non-pregnant state, I am definitely beginning to feel the discomforts creeping in - the tight back, the lessened ability to stand and sit for prolonged periods of time, the weight of my belly in bed at night, and the wariness of lifting things, which can get hard when Jonah insists on being picked up and carried.

Hopefully the next three months will go smoothly and quickly and then the next three hectic and sleepless months after that will all seem a blur in retrospect. I know it's all worth it. Just sometimes I get a little grumpy about having to shoulder the physical stress of it.

full day

This was a full day for Jonah and me. In the morning, he got to "drive" a digger, fire engine, and ambulance as part of the Children's Museum's Truck Petting ZOO event. (I forgot to bring the camera, of course. But that's okay since taking pictures of your child during occasions like these feels a bit forced and cheesy.) You can guess what Jonah's favorite vehicle was. A digger, of course.

To avoid the rain which has been coming down in feet per hour, I swear, we went inside the Children's Museum and met up with a new/old friend Cari and her family. Her son is ten months younger than Jonah. I think we will see each other frequently since they just moved to town from New York and Cari is a stay-at-home mom by day and writer by night. We went to college together, but until this month, hadn't seen each other in twelve years! It's really great to connect again after all these years. I am excited to have a new friend with a toddler in town.

Just so you know, as an aside, here is what I think of the Children's Museum. First of all, it should not be called a museum. It's basically a big playhouse for preschool-aged kids. Hardly anything art-related or educational about it. Also, it's a germ trap with hundreds of little slobbery hands touching everything in sight. I'm no germophobe, though I know I'll have a hard time convincing you of that from now on, but runny noses and slippery fingers that have been god-knows-where have me cringing and washing my hands as well as Jonah's hands obsessively. Last year, Jonah had about eight colds. Pretty much one each rainy season month. This season, he is on his second cold. But I digress.

Back to my new/old friend Cari who, as if she hasn't had enough of us lately, invited us over for dinner this evening. I had such a great time eating and chatting with friends. I don't get to spend time with groups of adults very often. My life these days consists mostly of family time, work or one-on-one friend time, so this was a special treat. Jonah felt comfortable at Cari's house as well, playing with his new friend's toys and riding his tricycle all over the place. Poor Tim had to stay home with a bad cold. The funniest thing was when Cari told a story she remembered about me from our college days. I had no recollection of half of what she described, but it was slightly embarrassing to hear about my wild days that are all a blur now. I wonder what else she remembers about me that I would rather forget about now ;) I wish I could remember something naughty about her, but my memory is so poor that I really truly have nothing on file on her. Sigh.

Another highlight of the day was the new sofa that was delivered this morning. Ahh, smooth chocolaty leather! It's great! We love it! But it did get scratched on the way here. So it looks like we will have to have it replaced. Darn. We fell in love with it and now we'll have to part with it again. Who knows how long this replacement process will take. The old sofa I promised I would write about is now advertised on the web as a free giveaway. A few calls have come in, so it will hopefully be out of our hair shortly. It has served us well. I will commemorate it here soon.

car talk

Often when I drive with (or without) Jonah in the car, I complain about others on the road. And I mean it. With Jonah there I am pretty mild, just making innocuous remarks. Alone, it's a whole different story.

When he hears me comment on the rudeness or calessness of the other drivers, Jonah asks me: "What's happened, mommy?" I usually reply: "Bad drivers."

Today while Jonah and I were getting in the car, a car parked in the same parking lot honked with such a force - I am certain not at us - that Jonah wondered: "What's happened?" Then he answered his own question: "Bad driver."

I almost fell over laughing.

work song

I hardly ever write about my work on this blog, but it is a big part of my life and I, for the most part, like my job quite a bit. My students periodically evaluate the courses I teach. I want to share some of their feedback here with you. It makes me proud:

"I improved my English."

"I received much information [about] medical careers."

"I know how to successfully apply for a job."

"The teacher teaches clearly."

"[I liked] the enthusiasm of the teacher."

"All the lessons really helped me to realize the skills needed to work in the office."

“Everything was great. . . thank you for everything.”

“I learned a lot of things.”

“This program is well organized and the instructor always supports us. I’ve learnt a lot of hands-on experiences, especially the resume, cover letter, and job interview techniques. They are very useful!”

“I liked to learn both in the class and field trips. Tereza arranged (for) us to go some places to visit, and they did help me a lot with my future career.”

“[I would] definitely [recommend this class to a friend]. This course helped me to get a broad view of the healthcare industry in the U.S. I think that this course is well-organized and practical. I believe I’ll find a good job in the U.S. soon.”

“Tereza, I think you are a great instructor. I really enjoyed my studies here.”

“[The course provided] valuable information and ideas you may not get on your own. [Also,] good feedback from instructor and peers.”

another ZOO adventure

Today Jonah and I went to the ZOO, though the weather looked quite unpredictable, as is the case every day this season. Of course, it did drizzle, but we were ready. The biggest attractions at the ZOO for Jonah are . . . drum roll . . . the out-of-commission tractor for kids to “drive” and the sand box with trucks, buckets, and shovels. The animals are largely an aside at this point.

I love going to the ZOO because it’s lush and green - actually gorgeous colors of autumn now, it’s one of the highest points in the area, thus the air there seems the best, and because I like to check in with some of my favorite relatives (read monkeys) and friends (read otters and sea lions). It’s a good place for Jonah to run, because of the relative absence of cars.

The weather today was sketchy, like I mentioned, which meant that we were there practically alone. What a treat since the ZOO is exceedingly crowded at all times of the day in the summer months. It seemed as if we had snuck in over the fence on an off-limits day since most of the morning it was just us and the employees cleaning and setting up Christmas lights for the annual ZOO Lights display.

This had its advantages. The animals seemed more responsive to our presence and less tired of the crowds. They also seemed a little less inhibited than usual. The monkeys especially. We caught the mandrills in their most intimate moment (if you know what I mean), a first for me and my as-of-yet unaware child. The amazing thing was that these creatures were so casual about their encounter. No frills, no big deal, nothing that required any sort of a ritual or noise. Wham bam and not even thank you ma'am.

The marmoset, the smallest monkey in the world and one of my favorite distant relatives, flirted with us through the glass. It seemed to want to be pet, so it jumped around, switching between teasing us from its branch and coming up close with just the glass between it and our fingers. Jonah loved that little dance.

The orangutangs lounged around lazily, switching between eating leaves off birch branches and gazing at us with their sad human eyes from underneath cardboard. Jonah wanted to know: "What's that doing there?"

Something I was proud of was that Jonah went without a diaper. He peed on the potty before we left, then at the ZOO on the big toilet twice. I had to initiate each time, but it worked. No accident. What a good boy!

into the distance... diaperless

Last Friday marked a big milestone in Jonah's life. He walked with me all the way to the "park on the hill," as we call it, and back. No stroller or backpack. The park is ten blocks from our house, which is quite far for a two year old. Not only did he walk there and back independently; he also ran around the park like a maniac. And to top that off - he was diaperless. When he has no diaper on, I have to constantly remind him to pee. He gets excited to pee on new and interesting objects in the great outdoors.

"Jonah, do you want to pee on a tree?" is usually followed by an excited: "Sure," even if Jonah doesn't really need to pee at the time. In that case, he will push as hard as he can only to admit: "It's hard to pee now."

I have been taking him on short trips diaperless too. To a restaurant and the grocery store, for instance. He did great the other day when I took him to the women's restroom and let him stand on the toilet and "pee like a man." Occasionally he still pees his pants, but he's getting much better at this and is proud of his accomplishments.

language

The other day I came across a conversation I transcribed that Jonah and I had seven months ago. It's amazing to see how much his language and brain development have progressed since then.

Jonah turned 26-months today. This time my monthly email article from babycenter.com which sends me updates on Jonah's development said this:

"By now, your child should be able to use at least 50 single words, construct simple two-word sentences, and follow a two-step command such as 'Please get your shoes and bring them to Dad so he can put them on.' You can probably understand what she's saying about half the time, but don't expect to make sense of everything she says until she's around 4. Young children often confuse pronouns — so you might find her avoiding them completely by saying 'Brother get' or 'Baby throw.'"

I can't even count the number of words Jonah knows, but his sentences consist on average of four to five words:

"What's daddy doing there now?"
"It's hiding now."
"What's that one, mommy?"
"How to do that, mommy?"

Tim's observation the other day was spot on. Jonah has transitioned from mostly naming objects about seven months ago to discussing and asking about ideas: how to do something, how to describe something, etc.

Jonah uses the present continous (e.g., "Jonah's cooking something.") as well as simple past (e.g., "I dropped it."). Not always, but often. Very interesting.

Jonah's word choice can be quite entertaining too. Today the landlord was around, tinkering with things. Jonah watched the landlord, who was standing on a ladder and playing with the house paint, out the living room window. He kept yelling: "Landlord! Landlord!" with sort of a British accent, trying to get the landlord's attention. Then he graduated to yelling: "Landlord, fart! Landlord, fart!" I don't know where he came up with that idea, but it was the perfect way to counteract our landlord's robotic demeanor as well as his odd, if not alarming habit of inserting "caulk" into every conversation he has with us. Nicely done, Jonah.

nesting

Some may call this the nesting instinct, but whatever it is, Tim and I have been reorganizing our house and ... drum roll, please... splurging on new furniture. Using a gift certificate from Tim's parents for the new Ikea store that opened in our area, we bought new bookshelves. One for each member of the family. Jonah loves his and Tim and I are just putting together and organizing ours. Ours are made of real wood - quite special these days - and painted a bright cheerful red. We decided to add on glass doors to keep the kids from messing with our books and to keep the dust out. So far, I love my new bookshelves and I have been relishing my time ordering and re-organizing my books.

We also ordered a new sofa. I'm really anti-dust these days. I think my sensitivity to dust has been elevated due to my pregnancy. So, we decided to get a leather sofa. Easy to clean and not a dust trap! When it arrives, we will have a party to give it a test run.

Buying new stuff is a big deal for both Tim and me. We are generally thrifty and uncomfortable with spending too much money on any one item. The new sofa we are getting is the most expensive single item we have ever bought for ourselves other than our *used* car. It feels daring and a bit scary, but exciting too.

Sometimes it's good to treat yourself, I guess, especially considering that our last sofa cost us five dollars. How we acquired it is actually a pretty sweet story that I will share next time I blog.

midwife appointment

I had my monthly midwife appointment today. Jonah knew why this time. Our midwife's office is so cozy and great for the whole family. She makes tea for us, we chat, then we get to business. The atmosphere is so relaxed that I look forward to my visits there. There is always a basket of toys in the room that Jonah loves to play with. Today our midwife let Jonah stand on the scale and help her put the gel away after she listened to the baby's heartbeat.

All is going well with the pregnancy (knock on wood). The heartbeat is normal. My iron level is strong, I feel good...

For those that don't know, Tim and I decided to keep the sex of the baby a surprise until the baby is born. With Jonah, we wanted to find out and did so as soon as we could. This time I wanted a different experience. The mystery appealed to me. Plus, if it's a girl, maybe we can avoid the flood of pink frillies at least until the baby is here. Everybody tells me they think we are going to have another boy. I am not sure. Let us wait and see.